Standing Out

I was doing some shopping last weekend at one of those big box stores better known as Costco. As I got to the cashier line, I noticed a difference among the cashiers. Some of them stood out more to me than the others. It seemed those who stood out were enjoying their job while providing good customer service.

Those who didn't stand out were just OK, and seemed as if they didn't want to be there and couldn't wait until their shift was over. They were not showing any urgency in taking care of the customers and looked distracted with other things.

Later, as I thought about my business career, I realized how quickly I could remember the people that stood out for me. There were always a handful of sales people who stood out above everyone else. There were always a few engineers and project managers who stood out to me and I will always remember them. There were always a small number of people in the support services such as Accounting and IT who stood out for me which I always turned to them. Also as I look amongst my family, friends and others in my social circle, I clearly see some people stand out more than others.

So why some people stand out and some don’t? After some thinking and study, I found these principles to be helpful in standing out.

• Be polite and respectful. People always remember the person who respected them and were polite to them; make sure that person is you.
• Think before talking. When talking, it is important to come across as self-assured and knowledgeable, so be sure to have done your research and know your facts before you open up your mouth.
• Take risks and work hard. Many people won't take risks because they're afraid of failure. Yet, without failure nothing new can be gained and it is only those who are willing to take risks and to work hard at their dreams who eventually succeed and stand out. Nothing – nothing – is a substitute for hard work.
• Do what you say you'll do. People who stand out from the crowd are people who keep their word and follow up their promises. Reliability makes you memorable and causes you to stand well above all the forgotten promise-breakers.
• Display initiative. Standing out from the crowd often means that you take action while everyone else stands back. Be the first to point out what's working and what’s not, and how to make the most of what's great and improve on what's not. If you see someone in trouble, don't assume they're getting help. Stop and help.
• Dress tastefully and accordingly. Clothing speaks in its own way, and a well-tailored outfit that fits you perfectly is bound to have people notice you. Not dressing for the occasion will make you stand out negatively.
• Keep a good posture. The person who stands out from the crowd will also stand tall, no matter their height. Just remind yourself to stand up straight, to keep your chin up, and to make eye contact with others. This is a sign of confidence.
• Be attentive. The greatest honor you can give another person is to show you've really heard them and to show that what they've said matters.
• Put away the cell phone in meetings, in restaurants, and during conversations.
• Stop your eyes from wandering around the crowd when you're with someone.
• Focus fully on them and be truly interested in them.
• Remind people how great they are. Regularly single out people in your life, from the workplace to home, to remind them how great they are. So few of us take the time to acknowledge the people in our lives whom we take for granted (see Recognition blog) that when someone does validate us in this way, it comes as a totally sweet surprise and is so out of the ordinary that it gets remembered.

I am sure there are many other ways to stand out in business or in personal life. The bottom line is that we all enjoy dealing with the people who stand out and we will always remember them.

Democracy Chaos

When I started blogging a few months ago, I mentioned that I would be writing about the things that I have learned in my career as well as my personal areas of interest. One of those areas of interest is politics.

Despite my interest, I also have tried not to write a political blog as I figured it surely will be debatable, as most political opinions typically are. Most people have strong beliefs in their political views and I didn't want to start a contentious dialog amongst my family and friends. So this blog and any future political blogs are going to be my observations and not pointed at any political party, Presidents or individuals.

This week’s blog was prompted by the chaos that is going on in Egypt. Almost 1,000 people have been killed in recent weeks in clashes between security forces, backed by the ruling military, and supporters of Mohammed Morsi, the first legitimately elected president in Egyptian history, who was ousted in July.

For three decades, Egypt was a stable Muslim country, a friend of the United States, the first Arab country to recognize Israel, and on a slow road to democracy. Now it appears to be falling apart.

What made me write about this issue was the similarity of this situation to a few others that I have observed, and my frustration about the lack of a clear vision for these countries and a desired outcome. Let me elaborate.

As an Iranian born who came to United States at age 18 and eventually became a United States citizen, I witnessed a similar situation in Iran. The Shah of Iran was toppled in 1979 which brought us the current regime that has been a thorn in United States’ side. In that situation, the United States who had supported the Shah for over 38 years withdrew its support and Iran went backward into a religious government who now is anti-United States. Not the outcome we wanted.

Fast forward to 2011 and a similar scenario happened in Egypt. The government of Hosni Mubarak, and Anwar Sadat prior to that, who were friends of United States and were being supported by United States for over 41 years was toppled after the protests in Cairo’s Tahrir Square and the public withdrawal of U.S. support. Over the ensuing two years, a new government was formed but toppled again just last month without a clear support from the United States. Again, not the outcome we had hoped for.

We also have witnessed several other cases where we have assisted in a regime change in countries that generally were not friendly with the United States and we had hoped for improved results which didn’t materialize.

The war in Iraq is well documented and the price we have paid for this regime change in number of lives and financially has been enormous. Was it worth it?

In Afghanistan, for many years the United States had tried spreading influence and in 1979 led to a bloody war between the US-backed Mujahideen forces and the Soviet-backed Afghan government in which over a million Afghans lost their lives. This was followed by the rise and fall of the extremist Taliban government and the present war. The current President, Hamid Karzai is supported by the United States however, has been relentless in his criticism of American involvement in Afghanistan’s political process. Is this the outcome we wanted for Afghanistan?

In 2011, the United States assisted the opposition groups in Libya who overthrew Muammar Gaddafi and his 42 year regime. Currently, the country is undergoing political reconstruction under a transitional government but there are protesters demanding that Islamic sharia law be the source of the country's future constitution. Again, not something that we had hoped for.

And most recently, the civil war in Syria has resulted in over 100,000 casualty. The United States officially has supported the opposition and is providing arms to them but it’s not clear who the opposition group is and in case of victory if they will be friendly to us.

Again, I am not listing these conflicts to blast one party or the other or any President. I just simply wish we had a more clear vision for what our role is and what outcome we are after.

The United States spends billions of dollars every year in supporting many countries without a clear benefit. Egypt is getting 1.5 billion dollars in military aid from the U.S. and still it is not clear what kind of government they will have and if those arms will be used against us some day. Pakistan gets about 1.7 billion dollars but has not been very supportive of our fight against Al Qaeda.

One theme that is consistent with these changes is the support for democracy. The United States has taken on the important role of protector of people from tyrannical rule. People everywhere throughout the world when given a choice wish to be free. The United States has always encouraged this and has been a role model for it. We should be proud of this and feel good about it.

I am in support of change for democracy but we need to realize that democracy can’t be imposed on people and it takes time. Democracy took roots in this country after declaration of independence and signing of the constitution but it took almost another 90 years before the salves were freed. Democracy must be earned.

In my opinion, one ingredient that is needed in establishing any democracy is to teach and inform people. Until people get educated, they won’t know what democracy is, and why they need it. I wish, instead of the recent wars that we fought in Iraq and Afghanistan, we had taken a fraction of the money spent on the war and had spent it in building more schools, universities and other means of education in these countries. Let’s first teach them what democracy is and why freedom is so important and they will eventually earn it.

The other thing we need to do is to be respectful of other countries culture, religion, traditions and their values. We should not expect they change those beliefs quickly in the name of democracy. We will not be making any friends and followers if we don’t treat them with respect no matter how much our ideologies makes sense.

So next time you hear any news about Egypt, Syria or any other conflict, ask yourself if we are doing the right things to help these countries to develop their own democracy. Are we using force to get change or are we teaching and nourishing democracy? And finally, do we have a clear vision of what we really want at the end?

Responsibility

It is my daily morning routine to read the news on several web sites as I have given up the paper version! I was doing this yesterday with an eye for a subject for this week’s blog since I didn't have anything specific in mind.

One piece of the new caught my attention which was the ruling by a judge that the New York Police Department's "stop-and-frisk" crime-fighting tactic supported by Mayor Bloomberg was unconstitutional.

It also reminded me of another case where Mayor Bloomberg's controversial plan to make large (over 16 oz.) sugary drinks unlawful was rejected by a state appeals court, which said he had overstepped his authority in trying to impose the ban.

This is not a political blog and I don’t have anything against Mr. Bloomberg or the City of New York. My observation here is why our lawmakers spend a lot of time to come up with laws that are just a Band-Aid for the problem and are very controversial. It seems like a waste of time of our system.

Another news yesterday was about The Obama administration unveiling plans to fix what it considers the longstanding unjust treatment of many nonviolent drug offenders, aiming to bypass tough mandatory prison terms while reducing America's huge prison population and saving billions of dollars.

So what do these issues and laws all have in common? In my opinion, they do not deal with the root cause of the problem. These issues and laws put a temporary fix on a problem and they don’t deal with the underlying issues.

Stop-and-frisk is not the ultimate solution to reducing crimes. Banning large sodas is not fixing the problem of obesity, and reducing prison time for drug offenders does not reduce the use and dealings of the drugs.

All of these issues need to be further evaluated so we can find permanent solutions to these and other social concerns.

In my career and personal life, I have always tried to understand and find the root cause of any issues I am faced with. My goal has been to find the root cause and fix it so it won’t happen again rather than finding a temporary solution. This is not very easy but it’s the only way we can get better. This process was very important to utilize in improving customer satisfaction in my business.

In my opinion, the underlying root cause of some of our social issues is tied to our family values and family upbringing. Parents are the front-line teachers of right and wrong, and the first defense against their children breaking the law. I believe:

• It’s the parent’s job to set the values and teach their kids the right from wrong not the government.
• It’s the parent’s job to monitor their kids and ensure they are becoming the good citizens that our society needs.
• It’s the parent’s job to make sure their kids are staying in school and excelling rather than joining the wrong groups
• It’s the parent’s job to teach their kids the proper food diet and why drugs are bad for them.
• It’s the parent’s job to teach them the value of work and making an honest living.

And so on, I think you get the message.

We as the parents have a lot to do with some of the issues that we have in our society. We should not expect our government keep making laws that are hard and costly to enforce and are only a Band-Aid for the real problem.

We, as the parents can make a BIG difference.

Recognition

Last week, I was listening to a podcast during my daily walk about conscious leadership and how it builds value for an organization. One of the areas of leadership that was discussed was the recognition of others and how important it is in building a successful business. They made the case that recognizing and inspiring is imperative.

I started thinking about my career and whether I did a good job of recognizing the people that worked with me or for me. As I looked back, I realized that in early years of my career I didn’t fully learn and appreciate the value of recognition. I didn’t realize that people deserved recognition for the work they do. I didn’t realize how much of my success was the result of their hard work.

I feel along the way I may have displeased some people and did not truly display the characteristics of a good leader. I always thought people can accomplish more so I was never happy with what they were producing. I was pushing too hard and not recognizing people for their hard work and the commitment to the ultimate goal. I am grateful that eventually I learned this big lesson and made it a priority in my career.

True leadership – the ability to inspire others to greatness – is one of the most challenging skills to master. Leadership refers to an individual's ability to influence, motivate, and enable others to contribute toward organizational success. Without it, people feel uninspired, bored and lose connection with the cause. As leaders, we do such a good job of finding people doing things wrong and try to fix them. We don’t spend enough time finding them doing things right and recognize them.

As I have shared with you before, I like to take these business lessons and apply it to everyday life. Shouldn’t recognizing and inspiring people be important in all levels of our lives? Don’t we get better results when we recognize the people around us? Let’s not take the important people around us for granted.

Our spouses, our kids, our friends, our co-workers, and people in our societies can benefit from recognition. They all will respond better to our goals and objectives if they see they are valued for what they do.

When I got home after my walk, I found my wife taking care of my laundry and organizing the house the way I like it. I waited and found a special moment later to genuinely thank her for everything she does around the house for me. I had taken these and other chores for granted. I recognized her for it and made sure she knew I truly appreciated it. It was just a simple thank you but when it’s done genuinely, it makes all the difference.

So look around you and make sure the people that are working with you, working for you or are part of your life are being recognized and appreciated.