Positivity

I decided my first official blog to be about something that I really believe in, being positive. After all, I have named the title of my blog “Living Life Positively.” In recent years, and may be because I am getting older, I have noticed how much being positive can impact one’s life and outlook.

A few years ago, I stumbled upon Jon Gordon’s weekly newsletters. He is an author and speaker who inspires people, organizations and leaders to work with more vision, passion, positivity and purpose. Last year, he published a book called “The Positive Dog,” a story of two dogs which one teaches the other the power of positivity. After I read it, I bought 25 copies to give to friends and family to help spread the positivity message.

His book is not the only writing you will find about the power of positivity. A quick search on Google reveals that a lot has been written about this subject. So, I decided to share some of my thoughts and findings as well as some of Jon's research about this subject. I don't plan on writing long blogs but this one turned out that way and I hope you take the time to read it.

There are many studies that indicate that positive people are happier, healthier, more successful, and live longer. Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include: lower rates of depression, lower levels of distress, and better coping skills during hardships and times of stress.

A 30-year study of 447 people at the Mayo Clinic found that optimists had around a 50 percent lower risk of early death than pessimists.

Another study found that marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions whereas when the ratio approaches 1 to 1, marriages are more likely to end in divorce. I have witnessed this to be the case among several friends. Personally, I can attest that because of Sheri and I’s positive, encouraging and supportive attitude in our lives, we have been blessed by a very successful and great marriage.

In business, positive leaders are more likely to garner the support of others and are able to maintain a broader perspective and see the big picture, which helps them identify better solutions. My late friend and boss, Bruce Woolpert was a great example of such leaders.

Positive people have more friends, which is a key factor of happiness and longevity.

The research also shows that being negative has its own consequences. For example, negative attitude and behavior increase the risk of having a heart attack and stroke. Negativity weakens our immune system, makes us feel more stressed, and drains our energy. It is also associated with feeling more depressed and making fewer friends.

Generally, negative people like to complain and blame others and life for all their problems. There is a quote that says: “complaining is like vomiting. Afterwards the complainer feels better but everyone around him feel sick.” I always try to get away from these people so I don't get drawn into their negativity and stress.

So how do we become more positive? Our way of thinking, whether positive or negative, is a habit and habits can be changed. Positive thinking often starts with self-talk. Self-talk is the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through our head every day. If these thoughts are mostly negative, our outlook on life is more likely pessimistic. If these thoughts are mostly positive, we're likely an optimist — someone who practices positive thinking.

The following practices can change our thinking and help us create a more positive attitude.

      Let go of the assumption that the world is against you. It is an assumption that has no basis in reason or science.  The sooner you can attribute your pessimism to a unique set of circumstances rather than the state of the world itself, the easier it'll be to change your perspective.

      Understand that the past does not equal the future.  Just because you've experienced disappointment in the past does not guarantee that everything else that starts badly will end badly.

      See yourself as a cause, not an effect.  Stop thinking about what is happening to you and start thinking about what you can make happen.  If you're not happy with the way your life is now, set goals and get moving!  Use your past negative experiences to learn, build character and make better decisions.

      Remember that life is short. At any time and at any stage of life we could be gone. (I learned this by my Mom’s sudden passing and Bruce’s tragic accident.) Make sure you tell the people you love that you love them today because there might not be a tomorrow. Praise people you care about rather than criticizing them today because there might not be a tomorrow. Give back and make others happy today because there might not be a tomorrow.

      Identify areas to change. If you want to become more optimistic and engage in more positive thinking, first identify areas of your life that you typically think negatively about, whether it's work, your daily commute or a relationship. You can start small by focusing on one area to approach in a more positive way, and then expand into additional areas.

      Surround yourself with positive people. Make sure those in your life are positive, supportive people that you can depend on to give helpful advice and feedback. Negative people may increase your stress levels and make you doubt your ability to manage stress in healthy ways.

I am not suggesting that just being positive makes everything work in your life. Positive thinking doesn't mean that you keep your head in the sand and ignore life's less pleasant situations. You still need to learn new skills, take risks, have patience, be determined, get motivated, have perseverance, be committed, have passion, and most importantly work hard to achieve your life goals. All of this just becomes much easier if your attitude toward your work, people and life in general is positive.

So make a pledge today and turn up the dial on being positive.

Be grateful for what you have because you can't be grateful and negative at the same time. Smile more as it produces more serotonin in your brain as well as the people receiving it. Praise, give positive feedback and compliment others instead of criticizing them. Write a thank you note to someone you care or simply thank them in person. And finally remember life is not happening to you, life is responding to you so choose to make the rest of your life the best of your life.