Now What?

Well, it’s been a week since my last blog about the Government Shutdown and nothing has changed. There are some people who starting to feel the pain but unfortunately can’t do anything about it. On top of it, the death ceiling problem is nearing on the horizon which has added another significant dimension to this shutdown.

Today, the President said that “he is not budging.” The Republican replied by implying “we don’t budge either.” I guess we are in for a long shutdown and a government default if neither side is going to budge.

I remember some of the courses I took earlier in my career and I think the Democrats and the Republicans need to take the same courses in conflict resolution, negotiation and win-win methodology!

Why is it that we always have to wait until the last minute and many times after the deadline to come up with a solution?

Those of you living in the Bay Area have seen the same scenario over the BART negotiations. They started talking in this past spring which followed by a 4.5 days strike in July and finally followed by a sixty days cooling off period which will end this Thursday at midnight. And there is still no agreement.

As I look back, I can think of many ways to have a meaningful and productive negotiations and conflict resolutions. There are some basic fundamentals that can be used in any negotiations to get the two sides closer.

I think what holds people back in business or society is the same thing that holds them back in personal relationships: We don’t want to talk about the problem. This results in unresolved issues, misperceptions about another person's intentions, escalated negativity, and an overall lack of progress.

Sheri and I came up with a simple principal for our marriage many years ago which to this day has proved to work. When we have disagreements and as the result we stop talking to each other, we have mutually agreed that “the not talking part” will always end at midnight. So when we get up the next morning, we say hello with a kiss and start talking to each other again and try to solve our differences. Many times, the issue is not as big as we made it the night before and it’s easily resolved. Unfortunately, I see many couples go for days without talking because they are mad at each other.

I guess our President and Congress are mad at each other. So why aren’t our representatives talking to each other?

I am not suggesting they get up tomorrow and hug and kiss each other but they can certainly start a dialogue with respect for each other’s point of view. Regardless of the issue and how they deal with it, I believe that most people are coming from a position of sincerity and true belief. Neither side is trying to cause trouble. They simply believe in their position.

So I say to our President to start talking with the Republicans and stop drawing lines in the sand. I say to the Republicans to start talking to the President and stop making unrealistic demands. America and Russia came to an agreement on Syria by talking to each other and negotiating with each other in just a few short days. If that can happen, our government must be capable of reaching an agreement amongst themselves.